Dear
Sandy & Judy,
Not a
day, much less an hour or two passes where you are not foremost in my
thoughts. I wonder how you are doing and if peace is finding its way to
comfort you and give you strength.
The
front of this card reminded me of autumn in Ann Arbor and instantly
flooded my mind with memories of all the wonderful moments Jascha and I
shared that last final semester. God, did we have fun together.
When we first moved in to our place, we had so much fun playing house.
We'd joke around when one of us was coming home from somewhere by
waiting anxiously by the door and warmly saying, "Honey, you're
home, I missed you." Then we'd hug and move on to talking about
anything. I remember getting so excited when I'd see his gray truck pull
up in to our space behind the building. I'd run to the window and
yell, "Jasch!" and he'd yell back, "AAARRRR!" with a
great big happy smile, dressed in one of his favorite flannels and
jeans. I couldn't wait for him to get in the house and muse me with
where he'd been and what he'd been doing. He was usually not diligently
studying his little heart out at the library! When finals came
around, we were both stressed and obviously felt the pressure to not
extend our studies another semester. So we both tied ourselves
down to the books in our adjacent bedrooms. I was engrossed in a 35 page
history final that I'd definitely left to the last minute and if not for
Jascha's periodic interruptions, I probably would've lost it! I will
never forget him coming in to my room and rummaging around for a change
of scenery. I looked at him and was like, "Jasch, come on,
you gotta study, don't you?" And he turned back and said, "Ar,
all work and no play make Jascha very bad boy." And I completely
lost myself - just cracking up uncontrollably! And I really think
for the rest of my life, whenever I think about that, I will laugh again
and again, just as hard!
Of
course, our apartment wasn't always that cozy, little honeymoon nest! We
had our share of arguments and differences, but even those eventually
turned into laughter. I remember being utterly amazed at the amount of
time and concentration the allotted for thoroughly reading through each
and every section of the several newspapers he had delivered to the
apartment. And then came the crosswords that he'd work on until totally
solved. The front table would be littered with dictionaries, almanacs,
atlases and the thesaurus, in addition to the mess of newspapers.
At a few points in the semester, the papers were literally stacked up to
the ceiling. Spending time dragging the newspapers to the recycling bin
was definitely unappealing, especially in the midst of the football
season.
Football
games in our apartment were probably rowdier than in the stadium. The
phone would be ringing off the hook, people in and out of our place - a
total mess - and more than just newspapers! And there was Jasch, front
and center in front of the t.v. with the remote glued to his fingers. It
was great.
I
remember when the two of us took a job together at the Mongolian
Barbeque. I waitressed and Jascha was one of the cooks. Although a
short-lived experience for him, it only added to all the funny memories
we were able to laugh about later on. We'd get home from work late and
both of us would be starving. After being around all the stinky food all
night at the restaurant, that kind of food was the last thing either of
us craved. I think this is when Jascha first began ordering the
"golden pizzas." I say "golden" because they were
fairly expensive for the student budget - $35 to $40 a pizza. Far from
the $4.99 Domino's student special! Jascha would order from the gourmet
pizza place in town. We shared most everything in the refrigerator
except for his leftovers of pizza. When I'd have friends over and they'd
look for a snack in the fridge, they'd see the pizza and be like,
"can I have some of that?" and I'd tell them it was Jascha's
"golden pizza" from the gourmet place and they'd have to ask
him or else throw in a few bucks per slice!
I could
literally go on and on and on with stories about times - cherished times
- spent together. I feel so lucky to have all of these wonderful
memories so clear and fresh in my mind. I have so much of Jascha in my
heart so I know exactly where to go to find him. In this sense, I can
really be with him any time I want. This brings me
happiness.
When I
was home in the beginning of August for a wedding, Jascha and I set
aside some time to spend together, as we always did. Although we had
already spent hours of endless fun at the bar together amongst our
friends, we always enjoyed hanging out with just each other. So, the day
before I left for San Francisco, Jascha and I went for a really long
walk together. We walked and talked, skipping from one subject to the
next. It was such a beautiful day and I remember being so elated to be
together, catching up on recent happenings in each other's lives. We, of
course, talked about food, travel, friends, funny memories, etc.... We
were talking about living in different cities and I told him how great
it is out in San Francisco. And he said, "Yeah, I should move out
there, I know it's so beautiful. But what about the girls, Ar? Are there
any cool, good-looking Jewish girls out there who chill and wear toe
rings?" And of course, I answered, "Yeah, totally
Jasch!", as I would have replied to any of his questions that would
possibly have brought him physically closer to me! We talked a bit about
weddings too. We both agreed that something in the mountains and/or by
the ocean would be amazing. He said he would definitely want it outside,
somewhere breathtakingly beautiful - a total bash that everyone he loved
would just have the best time ever! Now it is time for me to plan my
wedding and it's really hard. We're planning on an intimate gathering of
only our closest friends and immediate family somewhere in the hills of
wine country. I cannot imagine Jascha not being there - the
brightest light in the room, the life of the party, my closest male
friend. I know that more than anyone, Jascha would take 100% full
advantage of his every minute out here. He'd most likely do some
research on which wineries and restaurants he'd visit and come equipped
with a list of things to do and see. I know how much fun he would have
and how happy he'd be for me. It makes me really sad to celebrate such a
happy occasion without him. I guess I have to keep reminding myself that
in spirit he will be there - he will always be in all of our
hearts.
Jascha
loved me for exactly who I am, as he did all of his friends. My
shortcomings, personality flaws and idiosyncrasies that tend to be
looked at negatively by others were what he loved the most about me. He
praised me for them. He really was the greatest guy in the world.
Everybody loved him and wanted to be around him. And as I'm sure you've
heard over and over again, no one could make me or anyone laugh harder
than Jascha could.
I miss
him so much and know how lucky I was to be a part of his life as I will
never have a friend quite like our precious Jascha. I only hope that I
can give to the world some of the goodness that Jascha showered me with
- that I can offer to others a piece of his love and happiness. He will
remain in my heart forever and always in the most special, warm and
loved place.
|