|
When
Jascha was seven or eight years old he was playing t-ball on a team coached by
his dad. Although he would go on to
be a good baseball player, that wasn’t his day.
Shagging fly balls as part of practice, he put his glove in the air and
prepared to catch the ball sailing toward him.
With the mitt extended the ball flew past the mitt and right into his
nose. The nose was broken, buy no
worries. Judy’s boy’s perfect
nose was repaired. And he did have
a perfect nose, didn’t he?
He was beautiful. Like
Joseph in the Torah, it seemed that the first thing you might notice about him
were his good looks. He was his
cousins’ claim to fame while he was working at Tamarack. He photographed well. Girls
loved him…always had these little pieces of paper with peoples’ first names
and a phone number on them. He had
only been working with Sandy a short time when he knew the names of every woman
under the age of 25 who worked in the office building.
But also, like Joseph, there was something much deeper.
He was gorgeous, but it was his smile, humor, and the way he connected
to and talked with people that made him special. He lit up a room. People
wanted to be around him. His
exterior was beautiful, he could flirt and play the game…yet, Jascha also had
an inner sweetness.
Passionate
“He would have a good time no matter what. People loved being around him.”
You said, Gabe, that Jascha
had a passion for living. That
Jascha said, “I should be able to do everything.”
That he loved being alive and being with people.
He wanted to be perfect at each thing that he did.
Perhaps because of this sometimes Jascha struggled or we struggled with
Jascha. Maybe his seeming confusion
with life was just a clear desire to do everything. It sometimes seemed as if he didn’t have it all together,
but, as Judy said, “It was amazing how much he had together.” He knew what he wanted.
Sandy, you described Jascha as “a renaissance man, but not in the
classic sense. Anything he liked he
became passionate about.”
He was passionate about learning. Jascha
had an incredible amount of knowledge. His mother said, “He didn’t waste his time studying.
He wanted to enjoy life.” But
after a vacation Sandy couldn’t throw out the piled up New York Times.
Jascha wanted to read each one of them.
He saved Food and Wine and Travel Sections.
As a child, he would open an encyclopedia to a page and read about
whatever he turned to.
He was passionate about Israel: When he was a teenager on a BBYO Israel
trip he was ready to graduate from high school and head back to Israel to join
the Israeli army. He was passionate
about food – restaurants, wine, and cooking.
The last three years he made a gourmet dinner for his Grandmother’s
birthday. Lillian, you said he used
the best ingredients…it might take a little longer, but it was the best and he
knew what you loved – those crab cakes. When
you’d go with him to buy hamburger he wanted filet groundup.
He loved sports…he would yell at the television, so into his game,
blocking out everything else except other cheering, yelling fans.
He loved to live life to the fullest.
This past weekend he went to Ann Arbor and went with the flow.
Expecting to return to West Bloomfield, he ended up spending the weekend
in Ann Arbor crashed on floors and out late having a great time.
Jascha was passionate about many things, but perhaps nothing more than
people. Jascha put other people
first. He had a sensitivity that
showed in thank-you notes or greetings over a beer.
And in his lawyer’s briefcase: a Michigan travel guide, gourmet
magazine, fall west Michigan fun thing, Real Detroit…Always interested in
everything else. If you were to
look at his briefcase, you’d know him.
Invincible
On friend described him: “He was invincible. At least to me. He
was so happy-go-lucky. He could do
everything and did everything.”
Putting
other people first
When Gabe would come home from New York, Jascha would cancel dates: “I
need to spend time with my brother while he is in town.”
He was concerned with other peoples’ happiness.
He sent articles, made sure to share what he discovered.
He marked TV shows that he knew his parents would like.
He shared cooking shows and new ideas when he knew that someone loved to
cook.
He made so many people feel good. Judy,
Sandy, Gabe, Lillian – he touched more lives than you will ever know.
One of his friends said, “He was the one person in my life who thought
I was perfect.” What a gift he was able to give.
Sense of humor
He was funny, too.
It was his mother Judy’s birthday and he brought cards for everyone.
Each card making up for some celebration he had forgotten: Father’s
Day, a birthday, whatever… In
each of the cards was a scratch-off lottery ticket.
When Judy scratched hers off, the ticket said that she had won
ten-thousand dollars. Everyone was
excited that she had won until they discovered that the tickets were fakes.
That the “odds of winning were 1,000,000 in 1,000,000” and everyone
proceeded to laugh. “He got all
of us.”
And Jascha would imitate people. “We
would be in hysterical laughter.” Judy
and Sandy described Jascha and Gabe doing Simpson and Seinfeld imitations.
They were able to quote verbatim moment after moment into entire episodes
– laughing, imitation, competing…
Gabe
and Jascha
Gabe and Jascha enjoyed each other.
Gabe, you said, “I feel so lucky that he lived as long as he did.
It was really these past three, four, five years that we became close.
He was my best friend and my brother.
I loved him so much…but I would have been friends with him whether he
was my brother or not.”
Judy, you said, “Gabe was always wondering if he would be as good as
Jascha. Eventually though, Gabe
surpassed Jascha in grades. And
Jascha was proud.” Judy, you also
said, “Gabe, your brother was popular, good looking smart, and older…so much
to look up to. Recently, Jascha
told you, ‘I look up to you, now.’”
Hard to hear, but with so much love.
Of course, Jascha was hoping you would “earn a whole lot of money and
take care of him.”
Gabe, you were his best friend. You
know that he respected you deeply and loved you.
He knew that you cared deeply for him.
You made him a treasure in your life and he knew it.
Sandy
and Judy
He always felt a little guilty working for his Dad.
But, Sandy, we know that you loved having him in the office and Judy you
made sure he knew that you both believed that he was “the best investment you
could ever make.”
Sandy and Judy, when you were driving to the hospital as your first
child was pressing to be born a month early, you realized that you had
only discussed one name -- Jascha. You
figured that you would give him the middle name David and if he didn’t like
the weird name you gave him he could change it or use his middle name.
But he never changed it and, as Judy explained, “there always was
something distinct about him.”
Gabe explained, “Everyone who knows him loves him.
And he was the only one in his group of friends who went by his first
name. He was always Jascha.”
Jascha is the Russian form of Jacob or Ya’acov.
Jacob, who struggled with God. Jacob,
who lived his loves passionately, who shone brightly and dreamt of his perfect
life, and was learned. So, Judy,
his name fit. He lived his name.
You loved him deeply, struggling to set him free and give him wings to
fly. He knew, Judy and Sandy.
He genuinely loved being with you. He
would describe how much he had in common with you, Sandy, and how much he wanted
to be around you. He gave you the
business, Judy, and respected you more than you know.
He loved family vacations – this last one in Acadia. He enjoyed being with you and knew that he was loved.
Good-bye...
God, Jascha rarely got angry, but we’re heartbroken and angry.
You didn’t even give us enough time to say, “Good-bye.”
Jascha is dead and it feels like there is a space in our lives.
We are out of balance. God,
I can’t imagine that what you’ve done is right and I’m angry.
We loved him, God.
Jasch, we miss you terribly. Please,
recognize that we said our good-byes each time we saw you out, each time you put
an arm over our shoulders, or smiled.
We said our goodbyes with our passion: in anger or in love.
In laughing or talking, in yelling at the Wolverines on television or
sitting on the steps at Michigania. We
said our goodbyes.
We picture Jascha walking in at any time, bringing his smile to the
party, lighting up the room.
He’s not coming in though. He
won’t walk in and bring his light to the room.
We won’t see him at wedding, or out at the bar.
Jascha won’t keep us up until four in the morning somewhere we might
never go on our own. He won’t make us go to the east side just to try what a
restaurant claims in the best pizza on the east side. And his suggestions for restaurant we need to find by
ourselves.
But, God, if we can live with half as much passion as Jascha lived
perhaps our light can help to light up rooms and weddings and the bar.
Perhaps we can keep a bit of him here, God, so that when we celebrate, he
is celebrating, too. When we laugh or cheer he smiles. And when we live our lives with passion, he sits alongside.
Yeah, we know he had died. But
God, you can only take his body and his soul.
We will keep his passion and his smile, his intellect and his desire to
live. We loved him, God, and we
always will.
|
